Why does he have to explain himself, why does he have to earn the basic kindness he sees others handing out without a word when the people they care about aren't happy? Why can't John just see that he's miserable as sin and sympathise with that? Why does he have to go into precise detail about what a piece of shit he is before they can have any kind of conversation at all?
He knows why. He doesn't deserve it. He's nothing. He isn't worth that kind of generosity. He's too damaged and bitter for anyone to see him as worthy of tenderness.
His head is pounding.
"I've told you the truth. If you don't like it, that's your problem, not mine."
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2024-05-07 06:12 pm (UTC)Fucking why.
Why does he have to explain himself, why does he have to earn the basic kindness he sees others handing out without a word when the people they care about aren't happy? Why can't John just see that he's miserable as sin and sympathise with that? Why does he have to go into precise detail about what a piece of shit he is before they can have any kind of conversation at all?
He knows why. He doesn't deserve it. He's nothing. He isn't worth that kind of generosity. He's too damaged and bitter for anyone to see him as worthy of tenderness.
His head is pounding.
"I've told you the truth. If you don't like it, that's your problem, not mine."