And the darker thoughts are still bubbling under. There's the voice that says: Why shouldn't he have done it? Why would he have to suffer and bleed and cry and beg for years, then finally seize all the power he could ever want and show his inferiors - what? Restraint? Kindness? Fucking why? He's a rotten sickness of a person whether he's having fun or not, so why not indulge?
He wants to imagine he'd feel less sick and hollow now if he'd controlled himself then. But he doesn't know. He can't know.
"...I'm trying. To think about other things. I've just volunteered to learn how to cook, haven't I?"
Re: Spam
"Yes. It is."
And the darker thoughts are still bubbling under. There's the voice that says: Why shouldn't he have done it? Why would he have to suffer and bleed and cry and beg for years, then finally seize all the power he could ever want and show his inferiors - what? Restraint? Kindness? Fucking why? He's a rotten sickness of a person whether he's having fun or not, so why not indulge?
He wants to imagine he'd feel less sick and hollow now if he'd controlled himself then. But he doesn't know. He can't know.
"...I'm trying. To think about other things. I've just volunteered to learn how to cook, haven't I?"