"I did. And now you've fucked me into such debilitating exhaustion that
it'll have to wait until tomorrow," Astarion hums, and huddles in closer,
putting an arm around him in kind.
Astarion doesn't tense up, but for a long moment he's just very still and
quiet. It is nice, but do they have to acknowledge that? Can't it just
be nice in a more abstract way?
(Ah, yes, because refusing to label things went so fucking well with John-)
"...it is," he murmurs. "It's very nice. I - didn't think I'd like it.
Resting with someone else."
He's testing those waters, those boundaries, and Astarion's silence tells him more than what he says. He squeezes him gently and brings him into a kiss.
"Yeah, and I didn't think I'd like sucking cock," he mutters with a soft laugh.
"You're good at telling me what to do." Jacob's trait of being hyperaware of nonverbal cues in order to avoid punishment translates very well to being very aware of what makes Astarion moan louder.
"But I don't sleep with - people with dicks." Men or elves or otherwise. "Not usually. Didn't think it was my regular - thing."
Jacob leans down and kisses him again, gentle this time.
"Yeah. Me, too. Neither of us are good at that part." He pauses. "And I meant what I said. I don't- give a shit that you're sleeping with other people as long as you want it." He almost leaves it at that. Almost. "But - I think I'm done with it for a while. Makes shit messy, for me."
"Well, you know I don't mind either way," he murmurs, snuggling in close
again, tucking his head under Jacob's chin. "Don't feel like you need to
tell me, if that changes."
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The praise sinks into him like few words do, and he comes with a final convulsion and a helpless, almost humiliating whine.
Yes. He can be good, just for him, just for a moment.
His arms go slack, the tension in his limbs leaching out of him with each little aftershock shiver.
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"Jesus Christ...I don't think I'm moving for a week."
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"Your dog won't like that," Astarion murmurs, smiling against Jacob's shoulder.
"But you should stay the night, since you went to the trouble of deceiving your way in here."
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"Mm, and you said you'd fix my trousers," he mutters, lying down beside him so he can wrap an arm around his middle.
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"I did. And now you've fucked me into such debilitating exhaustion that it'll have to wait until tomorrow," Astarion hums, and huddles in closer, putting an arm around him in kind.
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He holds him close, exhausted but not yet ready for sleep. "This is - real nice, you know."
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Astarion doesn't tense up, but for a long moment he's just very still and quiet. It is nice, but do they have to acknowledge that? Can't it just be nice in a more abstract way?
(Ah, yes, because refusing to label things went so fucking well with John-)
"...it is," he murmurs. "It's very nice. I - didn't think I'd like it. Resting with someone else."
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"Yeah, and I didn't think I'd like sucking cock," he mutters with a soft laugh.
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"Well, I don't universally enjoy it," Astarion sniffs. "It does somewhat depend who the cock is attached to, you know."
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"Oh? Well, I hope you don't mind my saying I'm surprised," Astarion chuckles. "You didn't seem in the least bit rusty."
Honestly, the idea of avoiding fellatio for twenty full years of adulthood just seems completely surreal to him.
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"But I don't sleep with - people with dicks." Men or elves or otherwise. "Not usually. Didn't think it was my regular - thing."
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Astarion smiles balefully.
"I wondered for some time if I enjoyed sex at all. With anybody. It could be...difficult to tell, on occasion."
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"No fucking wonder. Wasn't something you always wanted to do. You enjoy it here? With - whoever else you're with?"
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"...Yes, I do." He looks up to him. "It is - different, with you. But I enjoy it with others."
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"What's different?"
He doesn't know if he really wants the answer to that, but it's different for him, too. And he can't articulate why.
"Cuz I- I enjoyed it with other people, too. Not gonna lie, but I don't- want to. Haven't- since your stupid party that wasn't a party."
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Astarion laughs at that.
"It wasn't meant to be a party, I was just in a celebratory mood."
But the question is still outstanding, and he's quiet for a moment. His gaze slides away.
"I just...I know I could stop, we could stop, and it would be...I don't think you'd think less of me."
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Astarion brought it up, after all. Now Jacob has to be sure.
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"No. Absolutely not. But I'm - glad, we've talked about it," he says, haltingly. "Now and previously."
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"Yeah. Me, too. Neither of us are good at that part." He pauses. "And I meant what I said. I don't- give a shit that you're sleeping with other people as long as you want it." He almost leaves it at that. Almost. "But - I think I'm done with it for a while. Makes shit messy, for me."
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Astarion nods.
"Well, you know I don't mind either way," he murmurs, snuggling in close again, tucking his head under Jacob's chin. "Don't feel like you need to tell me, if that changes."
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"I didn't know that," he argues gently. "That you didn't care. Like I said, we aren't good at the talking part sometimes."
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"...Oh. I, ah, must have assumed," he says, mildly. "I don't want to ask anything of you that I'm not prepared to offer myself."
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"That doesn't mean you don't want it," he remarks, mostly teasing.
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"...I know."
Astarion snags his side of the blanket and pulls it up over their bodies.
"And I don't. I mean it."
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