Jacob leans down and kisses him again, gentle this time.
"Yeah. Me, too. Neither of us are good at that part." He pauses. "And I meant what I said. I don't- give a shit that you're sleeping with other people as long as you want it." He almost leaves it at that. Almost. "But - I think I'm done with it for a while. Makes shit messy, for me."
"Well, you know I don't mind either way," he murmurs, snuggling in close
again, tucking his head under Jacob's chin. "Don't feel like you need to
tell me, if that changes."
no subject
"What's different?"
He doesn't know if he really wants the answer to that, but it's different for him, too. And he can't articulate why.
"Cuz I- I enjoyed it with other people, too. Not gonna lie, but I don't- want to. Haven't- since your stupid party that wasn't a party."
no subject
Astarion laughs at that.
"It wasn't meant to be a party, I was just in a celebratory mood."
But the question is still outstanding, and he's quiet for a moment. His gaze slides away.
"I just...I know I could stop, we could stop, and it would be...I don't think you'd think less of me."
no subject
Astarion brought it up, after all. Now Jacob has to be sure.
no subject
"No. Absolutely not. But I'm - glad, we've talked about it," he says, haltingly. "Now and previously."
no subject
"Yeah. Me, too. Neither of us are good at that part." He pauses. "And I meant what I said. I don't- give a shit that you're sleeping with other people as long as you want it." He almost leaves it at that. Almost. "But - I think I'm done with it for a while. Makes shit messy, for me."
no subject
Astarion nods.
"Well, you know I don't mind either way," he murmurs, snuggling in close again, tucking his head under Jacob's chin. "Don't feel like you need to tell me, if that changes."
no subject
"I didn't know that," he argues gently. "That you didn't care. Like I said, we aren't good at the talking part sometimes."
no subject
"...Oh. I, ah, must have assumed," he says, mildly. "I don't want to ask anything of you that I'm not prepared to offer myself."
no subject
"That doesn't mean you don't want it," he remarks, mostly teasing.
no subject
"...I know."
Astarion snags his side of the blanket and pulls it up over their bodies.
"And I don't. I mean it."
no subject
He takes a long breath and lets it out, relaxing. "Tell your cat not to sleep on my face in the morning," he mutters.
no subject
Astarion chuckles and reaches out to turn out the light.
"She does as she pleases, darling, and I'm afraid you're warmer."
no subject