TLV: IC Contact

[sixfeetofdirt]

Careful; I bite.

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[sixfeetofdirt]

"We did start this conversation with me pointing out that the Admiral wouldn't let me go," Astarion says. He settles back down, one hand tucked behind his head, the other reaching to stroke Aylin as she comes to sprawl across his stomach. "So this has all been a waste of our time, hasn't it?"

[greatoldjohn]

"No, not at all," and John's voice does sound renewed, "The farthest thing from it. We're finally making some progress."

[sixfeetofdirt]

"Ugh. Why exactly would you categorise this as 'progress'?"

[greatoldjohn]

"Because now I know where to actually start," he says, just south of 'cheerful'. Cheerful would be cruel right now. Astarion just lost someone. But he's positive. "And why we were paired."

[sixfeetofdirt]

"Oh? I assume we were paired because the Admiral doesn't like you." A pause. "Or me."

[greatoldjohn]

"If it's anything, I got you because he knows I'm not in a hurry. And this will go at it's own pace."

He looks to Astarion.

"Do you want to be free?" He holds up a finger. "Don't joke. Don't avoid it. Don't tell me 'Of course, darling, haven't I been saying that?'" and it's actually a pretty good impression other than obviously being John's voice. The cadence and the tone are right. "No bullshit: do you actually want to be free? Genuinely free?"

[sixfeetofdirt]

Astarion's mouth pinches in irritation.

"I have been saying that," he says. "It's not my fault that your definition of 'freedom' is nothing like mine."

[greatoldjohn]

There are many many snide things he wants to say right now. He's too pleased with the progress to say them.

Also, still... losing people sucks.

"I'm waiting for your answer, Astarion. Yes or no."

[sixfeetofdirt]

"Nine Hells, you have my answer," he snaps. "Yes."

[greatoldjohn]

That gets a nod from him.

"And are you willing to work with me, trust that I want to get you the fuck out of here even if you might not understand why I'm insisting on something?"

[sixfeetofdirt]

There's a long silence as he lies there and strokes Aylin contemplatively.

"I can work with you. I can accept that you believe your motives are...benign. But trust you? Mm. No. Not right now."

[greatoldjohn]

John doesn't fight that. He just nods.

"All right. Do you know how we can work towards that kind of trust?"

He turns a hand.

"'Proof of concept' is going to be difficult on this one."

[sixfeetofdirt]

"I will permit that you're slightly closer now than you were six months ago," Astarion says. "If you ever show another person our private correspondence, ever again, you can get another inmate."

Yes, he's still peeved about that.

[greatoldjohn]

He's not surprised by the vehemence. He can agree to that.

"Done."

Then he lifts up a finger.

"Do you have any other privacy concerns so that we can avoid that before I make a mistake?"

[sixfeetofdirt]

"I would actually prefer that you not discuss me with anyone at all," he says crisply, then waves a hand: "Unless you're just calling me an irritating bastard in the abstract; that's fine."

[greatoldjohn]

"I can do that," he says with a dip of a head. "Anything else?"

[sixfeetofdirt]

"Mm. No. Though if you find new and thrilling ways to aggravate me that I didn't anticipate, I reserve the right to get annoyed about them as they arise."

[greatoldjohn]

"Only if I didn't directly ask you about it and get a bullshit response," is his answer to that. "Fair?"

[sixfeetofdirt]

"....Fair."

He might still get annoyed! He'll just be aware that it's a dick move!

[greatoldjohn]

He watches Astarion for a moment and considers.

"I don't expect you not to be unhappy. Or to be nice about it when you tell me you're unhappy. All I want is the understanding that I am trying to respect your wishes, but I can't understand them if you choose not to communicate them. That's what I meant by that."

[sixfeetofdirt]

"And I can't communicate them if I don't know what they are," Astarion says - not arguing, just...elucidating. "It's a work in progress all around, darling."

He feels like the boundaries he's tried to enforce are arbitrary and petty because he doesn't have any real sense of how they're meant to work.

[greatoldjohn]

That actually has him nodding with some enthusiasm.

"I get that, I do. It is. And if there are things I can do to help you figure out what's missing or what would make you feel... more secure. I want to do them."

[sixfeetofdirt]

"I - yes. I'll keep that in mind."

He's got no idea what John could possibly do, but, he can't fault him for enthusiasm.

[greatoldjohn]

He considers that.

"Is there a way to ask you questions that feels less... like an interrogation? I worry about that, that you think I'm trying to dig into you or tear something open."

He shrugs.

"I realize it's possible that just... because I'm your warden, it's never going to entirely feel like that. But I'd rather make it better than worse."

[sixfeetofdirt]

"Oh, well. You could listen when I tell you I don't want to talk about something," Astarion grouses. He's being...slightly dramatic, but only slightly.