"Annoying," Astarion says. "They had organised around what they believed to be a new god, the 'Absolute'. Any one of its adherents would have killed for just a whisper of its favour, and - well."
"People outside of us. Of the community," he amends. "They were living their lives, weak and dependent on others for what they have and how they live. They thought were were insane for wanting to have no part in the sort of machinery that chewed up humanity and spit out sheep."
He nods, leading them along a slightly uphill path that overlooks the half-frozen lake. "Yeah," he says with a nod. "Maybe we did. Thought we were saving them, saving humanity, from fire. But we kinda fucked it all up."
It's the first time he's been able to say aloud that their priorities were maybe a little skewed. Maybe a little...terrible.
"We started out fine," he mutters. "All good intentions and shit." But he doesn't sound sure.
Astarion doesn't know the idiom about the road to Hell, but something similar floats through his mind.
"What changed?"
It sounds like it was built on shaky foundations when a cornerstone of the leadership had been convincing a string of women to murder each other and take on a new identity, but...
"Don't know. We moved. Got bigger. John started to crack under the pressure and Joseph, he - he didn't have patience for him in the same way. I was always the peacemaker."
Which he realizes is a ridiculous statement, considering. But they've all grown up.
"It's...peaceful," Astarion says, after a few moments of silence. Just
feeling the wind in his hair, breathing in the chill air, watching the
water below. "I don't think I've ever been anywhere so quiet."
The ice turns to snow farther down, which Jacob ends up coated in. He reaches out and grabs a fistful of the stuff, tossing loosely formed flakes at his head.
He has a few options here. The soldier in him balks at the vulnerability, and his mind races. With his hands pinned, he can still gets his legs around him. He can buck up. He can twist and shove.
But Jacob doesn't notice the swell of emotion isn't fear or panic but playful affection until he raises up, shoulders straining, and kisses him instead.
Oh. Well, this is a kind of mischief he knows very well. Astarion
loosens his grip a little and sinks into him, kissing him deep and slow for
a lingering few moments.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-01 06:00 pm (UTC)He slides his hands in his pockets.
"What were your sort like?"
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Date: 2024-08-01 06:07 pm (UTC)"Annoying," Astarion says. "They had organised around what they believed to be a new god, the 'Absolute'. Any one of its adherents would have killed for just a whisper of its favour, and - well."
He smiles sharply.
"A lot of them tried to."
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Date: 2024-08-01 06:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-08-01 06:46 pm (UTC)Astarion laughs meanly.
"Absolutely not. Their 'god' was a vast hive mind from another plane, enslaved by three mere mortals."
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Date: 2024-08-01 07:25 pm (UTC)Makes sense.
"We were just - planners. People didn't understand what our work really was."
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Date: 2024-08-01 07:37 pm (UTC)"None of them? What were they doing with you, then?"
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Date: 2024-08-01 07:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-08-01 08:04 pm (UTC)"Insane or not, they probably thought you'd just built a different machine."
'Chewed up humanity and spit out sheep' doesn't seem a million miles from the cult of the Absolute.
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Date: 2024-08-01 08:07 pm (UTC)It's the first time he's been able to say aloud that their priorities were maybe a little skewed. Maybe a little...terrible.
"We started out fine," he mutters. "All good intentions and shit." But he doesn't sound sure.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-01 08:10 pm (UTC)Astarion doesn't know the idiom about the road to Hell, but something similar floats through his mind.
"What changed?"
It sounds like it was built on shaky foundations when a cornerstone of the leadership had been convincing a string of women to murder each other and take on a new identity, but...
no subject
Date: 2024-08-01 08:13 pm (UTC)He shrugs at the question.
"Don't know. We moved. Got bigger. John started to crack under the pressure and Joseph, he - he didn't have patience for him in the same way. I was always the peacemaker."
Which he realizes is a ridiculous statement, considering. But they've all grown up.
"But I couldn't do it."
no subject
Date: 2024-08-01 08:21 pm (UTC)"And I suppose your followers noticed?"
Or maybe their following simply started to crumble through neglect alone.
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Date: 2024-08-01 08:24 pm (UTC)The path winds a but and Jacob follows it, leading them atop the hill that overlooks the lake. It's flowing, but there's ice atop the surface.
"I remember camping out here once. Froze my ass off because the cold came faster than I was prepared for, but I liked just - sitting up here."
no subject
Date: 2024-08-01 08:46 pm (UTC)"It's...peaceful," Astarion says, after a few moments of silence. Just feeling the wind in his hair, breathing in the chill air, watching the water below. "I don't think I've ever been anywhere so quiet."
no subject
Date: 2024-08-01 08:58 pm (UTC)The silence is comfortable, more than the Barge, the city, even his own mind.
He moves a hand from his pocket and takes Astarion's in his own.
"We can go down to the shore if you want."
no subject
Date: 2024-08-01 09:12 pm (UTC)"All right. Let me keep my hands, though," he murmurs. "I'd hate to slip on frost and drag you down this slope, mm?"
Also, walking hand in hand through a quiet place like this feels....
He doesn't know, he just doesn't like how it makes his gut churn.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-01 09:16 pm (UTC)He's not thinking through anything here. Not worrying about labels or words or feelings, just going off of what he wants, right there, in that moment.
He leads him down the slope, though does turn to ensure he is as sure footed as he thinks he is.
As he does, Jacob's boot slips on a bit of ice and the rock crumbles underneath him. He loses his balance, falling to his knees.
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Date: 2024-08-02 07:01 am (UTC)Astarion makes a quick, strangled noise which then becomes a laugh when he realises the only real injury will be to Jacob's pride.
"...Ah. Just as well I didn't give you the opportunity to dirty my clothes, either."
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Date: 2024-08-02 11:52 am (UTC)He promised shoes, not clothes!
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Date: 2024-08-02 11:58 am (UTC)Astarion squawks and tumbles down, not able to stop himself losing his balance but at least able to use the other man to break his fall.
"You wretch-"
He's half-laughing, though, as he sprawls over Jacob and pushes him down further.
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Date: 2024-08-02 12:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-08-02 01:02 pm (UTC)Astarion splutters.
"Excuse me-"
He reaches not for a fistful of snow, but for Jacob's wrists, aiming to keep him pinned down and unable to subject him to further indignity.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-02 01:36 pm (UTC)But Jacob doesn't notice the swell of emotion isn't fear or panic but playful affection until he raises up, shoulders straining, and kisses him instead.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-02 03:11 pm (UTC)Oh. Well, this is a kind of mischief he knows very well. Astarion loosens his grip a little and sinks into him, kissing him deep and slow for a lingering few moments.
"...Want me to warm you up, darling?"
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Date: 2024-08-02 03:13 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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