He doesnt know if he can, but he certainly wants to. He knows that part of this is wanting to please Astarion, to hear that smug tone in his voice again. He gets far too much pleasure from it.
Still, there's another part that is enjoying this. Lying vulnerable, so shameless and needy that he's pushing himself back on those fingers, begging...it's a little intoxicating.
Hurt isn't the right word. It's uncomfortable, fills him up in a way that he's never felt before, but they've gone slowly enough that it doesn't slide anywhere close to hurt.
The moan comes deep from his chest, his toes curling again. "God...goddammit. Astarion..."
He raises his hips a fraction of an inch, rocking friction onto his cock, offsetting the initially strange and open feeling.
Astarion fucks him very shallowly now, working more on getting him
comfortable with that sense of openness than trying to sink deeper. He
can feel him squirming, all but humping the mattress beneath them, and his
cock throbs with sympathetic arousal.
"The way you look when you move, Jacob," he murmurs, sounding almost
wounded. "You're beautiful."
He settles after a blissful sort of moment, relaxing under the touch.
"Goddamn...I feel so...fucking useless like this," he admits, still trying to form a coherent thought even though his entire body is flushed and aching. "I want to fuck you, I want to be fucked, I want - " He trails off at that because everything that he wants to say has been firmly pushed back in his head.
"Tell me what you want, Jacob," Astarion murmurs, moving up his body to
kiss at his shoulders and neck, fingers still moving slowly between his
thighs. He lets his own erection press against Jacob's warm skin, lets him
feel the effect he's having on him.
Everything is frighteningly vague, but Astarion can latch onto the
right-now desire. He's more than happy to fulfil him to that extent.
"Very fortunate that I very much want to fuck you, too," he murmurs. "You
feel ready. Just keep breathing for me."
He keeps the movement as fluid as possible, drawing his fingers free and
briskly slicking his cock. Before Jacob can tense up again, he's pressing
the head of his cock against him, carefully easing it inside.
It's been a while since he's topped. The tightness and heat of him makes
him groan out loud, and the sheer effort of not snapping his hips forward
for more makes his thighs tremble.
There isn't much time for him to anticipate what's happening. It's not as if the cock in question is one Jacob's unfamiliar with, but there's a big difference in having it here versus in his mouth. But there isn't anything to worry about, and he remembers the way it had felt when Astarion's fingers hit him right, hit him exactly where he needed.
He stretches out an arm above him, his knuckles white on the sheets. "Wait," he tells him, letting himself get used to the feeling, not wanting him to pull away.
And then he relaxes, settling down onto the bed again. "Alright, I'm alright."
It shouldn't hurt, Astarion had told him, and it doesn't. Not even a little bit.
Astarion waits, trying not to make any desperate pleading noises, and he
feels in Jacob's body that the moment of uncertainty has passed - but he
still waits for him to say the word before sinking deeper. He all but
blankets his body over the human's, kissing his shoulders, soaking in the
warmth of his skin and the sound of his accelerated heartbeat.
At the pace he's going, it feels like it takes forever before his body
comes flush with Jacob's. He kisses his throat.
"Gods. Thank you - thank you for saying something. Still alright?"
There's a thrilling feeling of fucking success as he feels Astarion's cool skin against him and he reaches back with one hand to take his. "Yeah," he says in a breathless sort of laugh. "Yeah, I'm - fuck, it feels so good."
He didn't think that this would ever feel like satisfaction, but it does. Maybe it's just Astarion. Jacob knows he'll likely never figure out the answer to that. He can't imagine doing this with any other man, and that's a thought that doesn't terrify him.
"You feel wonderful" Astarion purrs, squeezing Jacob's hand gently. "I
couldn't ask for more."
He rolls his hips fractionally, not doing much more than grinding against
him at first, not moving in or out by now than an inch. Even that's enough
to make him groan, unrestrained.
He lets go of his hand, pressing the blankets underneath him. "Like this? ...yes. And no," he admits, biting back a moan. "You know you're so - goddamn beautiful? Like someone should - put you in a museum."
He takes a moment, rocking back into him in rhythm, raising his hips to meet him.
"You really shouldn't think so little of yourself," Astarion murmurs,
giving his shoulder a stinging little bite.
"I am very beautiful, and being put on a pedestal is the last thing I
want. What I want is - this," he punctuates the word with a deeper thrust
inside him. "You."
His gasp turns to a soft cry, sweat beading along his forehead along with a rush of pleasure as Astarion hits him just right. It sweeps through him like fire, leaving him desperate in the aftermath.
"Good. I want you with me," he mutters once he catches his breath.
"Just like this," Astarion echoes. This slow rhythm, the soft words, the
kisses he can't stop pressing to Jacob's skin - it feels like lovemaking,
and he doesn't want it to feel like anything else. Whatever this is, right
now, it's perfect.
He slips his hand under Jacob's body, curling it around his shaft and
giving him a slow stroke.
He knows exactly what this is and what it feels like and what he wants it to be. He's...happy here. This isn't chasing oblivion, as they started. This is them, together, aware and with it.
He raises his hips for him, digging his knees a little into the bed as leverage, and all his words and thoughts dissolve into moans as he just exists in this bed with Astarion, completely at his mercy.
"Jesus...I'm - mm - I'm so close..."
It's the only warning he can give as each thrust, each touch, builds and builds as a fire in his belly.
Astarion's voice is low, almost hoarse, as he fucks him harder. He barely
even needs to stroke him, just using the force of his thrusts to push
Jacob's cock into his fist. He can feel him throbbing against his fingers,
can hear his heart pounding.
He will get his wish. Even if Jacob wanted to stop himself, he can't. Each push into him, each thrust, sends him closer and closer to the edge. He calls out his name, begging for relief, and it comes with erratic thrusts into Astarion's hand until he's spent.
For all his softer, warmer feelings for Jacob, there's something sharp and
fiercely satisfying in the power that this gives him. Being begged,
hearing his name moaned in ecstasy, it's potent.
He rides out Jacob's orgasm, fucking him as his body spasms and clenches
around his cock, his own climax hitting just as he feels the last twitch of
Jacob's shaft against his palm.
Astarion fills him up and Jacob rocks back, happy enough to play this role. So Jacob, thoroughly spent and throughly fucked, pulls his arms in tight underneath his forehead and sinks down into the bed.
"Jesus fuck...that was good," he ultimately decides.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 04:48 pm (UTC)Still, there's another part that is enjoying this. Lying vulnerable, so shameless and needy that he's pushing himself back on those fingers, begging...it's a little intoxicating.
"Yeah," he answers with a shudder in his voice.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 04:53 pm (UTC)"Just tell me if it's too much, Jacob. This should never hurt."
No matter what he might have heard. No matter how much pain Astarion has become accustomed to.
He slowly strokes Jacob's stretched rim with the tip of his ring finger, then eases it in alongside the index and middle.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 04:56 pm (UTC)Hurt isn't the right word. It's uncomfortable, fills him up in a way that he's never felt before, but they've gone slowly enough that it doesn't slide anywhere close to hurt.
The moan comes deep from his chest, his toes curling again. "God...goddammit. Astarion..."
He raises his hips a fraction of an inch, rocking friction onto his cock, offsetting the initially strange and open feeling.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 05:15 pm (UTC)Astarion fucks him very shallowly now, working more on getting him comfortable with that sense of openness than trying to sink deeper. He can feel him squirming, all but humping the mattress beneath them, and his cock throbs with sympathetic arousal.
"The way you look when you move, Jacob," he murmurs, sounding almost wounded. "You're beautiful."
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 05:23 pm (UTC)"Goddamn...I feel so...fucking useless like this," he admits, still trying to form a coherent thought even though his entire body is flushed and aching. "I want to fuck you, I want to be fucked, I want - " He trails off at that because everything that he wants to say has been firmly pushed back in his head.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 05:25 pm (UTC)"Tell me what you want, Jacob," Astarion murmurs, moving up his body to kiss at his shoulders and neck, fingers still moving slowly between his thighs. He lets his own erection press against Jacob's warm skin, lets him feel the effect he's having on him.
"If I can give it to you, I will."
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 05:28 pm (UTC)"Everything," he says instead, voice muffled by a pillow. "But right now I actually want to be fucked by you."
Words he never thought he'd say about anyone or anything.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 05:37 pm (UTC)Everything is frighteningly vague, but Astarion can latch onto the right-now desire. He's more than happy to fulfil him to that extent.
"Very fortunate that I very much want to fuck you, too," he murmurs. "You feel ready. Just keep breathing for me."
He keeps the movement as fluid as possible, drawing his fingers free and briskly slicking his cock. Before Jacob can tense up again, he's pressing the head of his cock against him, carefully easing it inside.
It's been a while since he's topped. The tightness and heat of him makes him groan out loud, and the sheer effort of not snapping his hips forward for more makes his thighs tremble.
"Gods...Jacob..."
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 05:44 pm (UTC)He stretches out an arm above him, his knuckles white on the sheets. "Wait," he tells him, letting himself get used to the feeling, not wanting him to pull away.
And then he relaxes, settling down onto the bed again. "Alright, I'm alright."
It shouldn't hurt, Astarion had told him, and it doesn't. Not even a little bit.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 05:48 pm (UTC)Astarion waits, trying not to make any desperate pleading noises, and he feels in Jacob's body that the moment of uncertainty has passed - but he still waits for him to say the word before sinking deeper. He all but blankets his body over the human's, kissing his shoulders, soaking in the warmth of his skin and the sound of his accelerated heartbeat.
At the pace he's going, it feels like it takes forever before his body comes flush with Jacob's. He kisses his throat.
"Gods. Thank you - thank you for saying something. Still alright?"
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 05:53 pm (UTC)He didn't think that this would ever feel like satisfaction, but it does. Maybe it's just Astarion. Jacob knows he'll likely never figure out the answer to that. He can't imagine doing this with any other man, and that's a thought that doesn't terrify him.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 05:58 pm (UTC)"You feel wonderful" Astarion purrs, squeezing Jacob's hand gently. "I couldn't ask for more."
He rolls his hips fractionally, not doing much more than grinding against him at first, not moving in or out by now than an inch. Even that's enough to make him groan, unrestrained.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 06:00 pm (UTC)"You can move. I'm alright. I'll - tell you if it's not."
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 06:55 pm (UTC)"Thank you."
He pulls out a little more, pushes in a little deeper, slowly beginning to fuck him in earnest.
"Are you - mm - are you surprised that I want you so very badly? After everything I've said?"
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 07:16 pm (UTC)He takes a moment, rocking back into him in rhythm, raising his hips to meet him.
"Still amazing that you want me."
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 07:50 pm (UTC)"You really shouldn't think so little of yourself," Astarion murmurs, giving his shoulder a stinging little bite.
"I am very beautiful, and being put on a pedestal is the last thing I want. What I want is - this," he punctuates the word with a deeper thrust inside him. "You."
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 07:55 pm (UTC)"Good. I want you with me," he mutters once he catches his breath.
"Just - god, just like this."
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 08:07 pm (UTC)"Just like this," Astarion echoes. This slow rhythm, the soft words, the kisses he can't stop pressing to Jacob's skin - it feels like lovemaking, and he doesn't want it to feel like anything else. Whatever this is, right now, it's perfect.
He slips his hand under Jacob's body, curling it around his shaft and giving him a slow stroke.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 08:14 pm (UTC)He raises his hips for him, digging his knees a little into the bed as leverage, and all his words and thoughts dissolve into moans as he just exists in this bed with Astarion, completely at his mercy.
"Jesus...I'm - mm - I'm so close..."
It's the only warning he can give as each thrust, each touch, builds and builds as a fire in his belly.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 08:19 pm (UTC)"Good. Don't try to hold anything back, Jacob."
Astarion's voice is low, almost hoarse, as he fucks him harder. He barely even needs to stroke him, just using the force of his thrusts to push Jacob's cock into his fist. He can feel him throbbing against his fingers, can hear his heart pounding.
"I want to feel you come."
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 08:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 08:33 pm (UTC)For all his softer, warmer feelings for Jacob, there's something sharp and fiercely satisfying in the power that this gives him. Being begged, hearing his name moaned in ecstasy, it's potent.
He rides out Jacob's orgasm, fucking him as his body spasms and clenches around his cock, his own climax hitting just as he feels the last twitch of Jacob's shaft against his palm.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 08:37 pm (UTC)"Jesus fuck...that was good," he ultimately decides.
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 09:04 pm (UTC)Astarion just moans a satisfied agreement, draping his body over Jacob's and letting himself relax.
"...Much more than good, Jacob."
no subject
Date: 2024-11-02 09:09 pm (UTC)"Much more," he agrees, and as loathe as he is to part with him, he wants something else more. "Will you fucking kiss me now?"
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