"Yeah," he agrees with a smile. "I like trying new shit, too. I have - I don't know. I have my routine and everything, but it's hard to shift things around sometimes."
"Why?" Astarion wonders. He became a creature of habit when he had no other
choice, when his habits were forced upon him, but now he's here his
behaviour is rather aimless. Is it so different for Jacob?
"Hm. I...have to admit, I feel the precise opposite," Astarion says. "I
don't...I can't stand it when things are predictable. I know I complain
about the floods and so on, but without them, I'm sure I'd have gone mad."
There's something a little manic in his giggle. "Isn't that peculiar?"
"I had a therapist help me unpack this once," he laughs. "But uh - it's probably because even the routine here feels forced. You don't have a job, but you'd only have one because someone made you. That's not a routine you created."
Astarion pulls a face for a moment - not out of any protest over the
question, just because it's never occurred to him to reflect on it.
"It feels like...like I'm walking down a narrow hallway, with doors on each
side that I'd be punished for opening. And it never ends. It never
changes."
He passes a hand over his mouth, frowning, as something occurs to him.
"I think...if there's any hesitation I have about the idea of a quiet life
out in the wilderness, it's that. Things becoming routine.
Feeling...trapped."
"Alright," he says, taking the statement with the sincerity it deserves.
"That's why we stay near the city," he adds. "So you can fuck off, go enjoy yourself, have your adventures. If Ro comes with us, she's gonna need that too. I'm happy keeping house by myself for a while."
Could it really be so simple? To just...let his wanderlust take him, to
have his adventures, and yet have somewhere to call home when it was done?
It feels so...
...it feels like freedom. So tantalising as to be dangerous.
"Mm." He's a bit too deep in his own head to form words on the subject.
"Ah, yes. Well. You seem to have neglected to place any conditions around
your request? I'm sure I can find some lovely petticoats in the communal
wardrobe."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2024-12-30 12:46 pm (UTC)Astarion plasters himself close and kisses his cheek.
"I told you not to! But if you'd ignored me, well, you'd have had to test your balance."
no subject
Date: 2024-12-30 12:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-30 01:09 pm (UTC)"I prefer watching you," he murmurs. "Especially when I can see you trying new things."
no subject
Date: 2024-12-30 01:16 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-31 08:09 pm (UTC)"Why?" Astarion wonders. He became a creature of habit when he had no other choice, when his habits were forced upon him, but now he's here his behaviour is rather aimless. Is it so different for Jacob?
no subject
Date: 2024-12-31 08:40 pm (UTC)He rubs the back of his neck.
no subject
Date: 2024-12-31 09:20 pm (UTC)"Hm. I...have to admit, I feel the precise opposite," Astarion says. "I don't...I can't stand it when things are predictable. I know I complain about the floods and so on, but without them, I'm sure I'd have gone mad."
There's something a little manic in his giggle. "Isn't that peculiar?"
no subject
Date: 2024-12-31 09:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-31 09:37 pm (UTC)Astarion huffs and leans into Jacob's shoulder.
"But being in control feels better. Shouldn't it be easier to feel in control if I know what's going to happen? Like you say."
no subject
Date: 2024-12-31 09:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-12-31 10:29 pm (UTC)"Not that creating my own routines feels any better," Astarion sighs, then groans. "I'll stop. Whining isn't an attractive quality."
no subject
Date: 2024-12-31 10:43 pm (UTC)He leans over and kisses the top of his head. "What does it feel like? To have a routine?"
no subject
Date: 2024-12-31 11:11 pm (UTC)Astarion pulls a face for a moment - not out of any protest over the question, just because it's never occurred to him to reflect on it.
"It feels like...like I'm walking down a narrow hallway, with doors on each side that I'd be punished for opening. And it never ends. It never changes."
He passes a hand over his mouth, frowning, as something occurs to him.
"I think...if there's any hesitation I have about the idea of a quiet life out in the wilderness, it's that. Things becoming routine. Feeling...trapped."
no subject
Date: 2025-01-01 12:33 am (UTC)"That's why we stay near the city," he adds. "So you can fuck off, go enjoy yourself, have your adventures. If Ro comes with us, she's gonna need that too. I'm happy keeping house by myself for a while."
And he knows he needs to be by himself sometimes.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-01 02:59 am (UTC)Could it really be so simple? To just...let his wanderlust take him, to have his adventures, and yet have somewhere to call home when it was done? It feels so...
...it feels like freedom. So tantalising as to be dangerous.
"Mm." He's a bit too deep in his own head to form words on the subject.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-01 03:03 am (UTC)"You ready to go back?" he wonders, breaking the silence.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-01 04:10 am (UTC)"I - yes, thank you."
He pauses a moment, then leans in and kisses Jacob, gently.
"...Thank you."
no subject
Date: 2025-01-01 06:55 pm (UTC)He, of course, does not know what his gift will be.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-01 06:58 pm (UTC)Astarion tsks at him, but he's smiling.
"Jacob, if this is your idea of dress-up, I don't even know what to say to you."
no subject
Date: 2025-01-01 07:25 pm (UTC)In a very fair contest.
no subject
Date: 2025-01-01 07:34 pm (UTC)"Ah, yes. Well. You seem to have neglected to place any conditions around your request? I'm sure I can find some lovely petticoats in the communal wardrobe."
no subject
Date: 2025-01-01 07:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2025-01-01 07:59 pm (UTC)Astarion huffs, though he's still in good spirits.
"Fine. I'll pick out something very predictable and masculine for you."
no subject
Date: 2025-01-01 08:19 pm (UTC)